You Could Be Happy
by Mr Palmer
Summary: Sometimes you don't get a happy ending initially. This fic includes "You Could Be Happy" by Snow Patrol and "Now" sung by the lovely Jonathon Groff and by Scott Alan. READ AND REVIEW FOLKS! First chapter is fairly mild, but steamy stuff to come later!
1. Chapter 1

*You have 1 new voicemail*

Rachel put the phone to her ear.

And after a few minutes, she broke down.

She crumpled up on the floor, wrapped herself up in a ball- and cried. She cried and cried until she was emotionally ready to do something about it.

She ran down the stairs, jacket in hand, keys in pocket- wearing only her pink silk dressing gown and socks, and got in her car and drove all night for her sanity.

...

"You could be happy and I won't know  
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go

And all the things that I wished I had not said  
Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were  
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur

Most of what I remember makes me sure  
I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are  
You made me happier than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you  
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to  
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do

More than anything I want to see you, girl  
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world"

Jesse gasps in a breath of air. He is sitting in the music hall of his old school, well technically the school he will have to come back to now. It's actually cold inside, luckily he was wearing his leather jacket, fleeced on the inside, nice and snug fitting. How many times she had stroked the arms, the chest and gripped the back. Her touches were all over- yet this is the first time he didn't feel at home in his own clothes anymore.

_What else to sing? Keep your mind clear of her; keep her far from your mind._

He hears footsteps behind him. It's weird how you can recognize someone's footsteps, when you never paid attention to that tiny detail.

_Rachel Berry. _

She had damp hair, red cheeks and eyes, and her fringe was plastered to her forehead. Her hands were shaking, her tiny body trembling in her slightly damp gown, and only socks on her feet. All other women in the world should be jealous of her at this point. Because she looks so beautiful, so magnificently gorgeous, just like this. No fancy clothes, no makeup, wet, messy hair, freezing cold and crying. She could beat any model hands down right now at this point.

She wiped her nose on the back of her hand- and instead of speaking, she sang.

Hey, I got your message.

That you stopped by the apartment.

No worries leave your things here for one more day.

I don't know why this happened. My life is dark as hell without you. The room feels so much colder since you went away.

She walks over to the other piano, across the room- and plays.

Jesse I don't want this, why can't we sit and talk this through. I'm losing sleep and I need you to come back home to me now.

Since your brother's birthdays Friday, I sent a card from both of us, The day before there was no us how was I to know?

Don't worry 'bout your clothes and all, maybe I will pack them up, Make this easier on both of us, well just for you.

'Cause everything is breaking down now since you've been gone. I don't even know the days; I don't know where to start. I'm in agony there are times I can't breathe- now.

She collapses to the piano seat- body trembling, tears falling. She stops.

Then, unexpectedly, she stands up from the piano- and as single tears roll down her cheek, sings the final sentence. So I guess that's it, sorry for this message, your bags will all be waiting when you arrive, I hope you doing well, now. "

She tries to look at him, in the eyes- and say goodbye- and that she still loves him, more than ever.

But she can't.

...

She can't do it.

He watches as she slowly, collapses, to the floor. She almost whimpers, crying, sobbing.

Then his eyes are wet.

How can he sit here- and watch the girl that he is in love with, just crumple up and cry?

He walks over to her, and picks her up into his arms.

He lets her tears stain his shirt, and her hand grip his jacket. Just where her hand belongs.

He sits her down inside his car, stroking her wet hair, her wet cheeks- just holding her so she wouldn't feel so alone, so he wouldn't feel so helpless.

He finally whispers to her "If it is any consolidation, even singing it up the octave, you still hit the high note."

She smiled briefly, but then frowns again. "Jesse, why are you leaving me? Just tell me the truth- that's all I want to hear. I want to hear that you don't want to make love to me, or you think my nose is disproportioned to my face, or my hips are too wide or my calf's are too big- or you don't love me. Just the truth- it's all I ask. Please" She gasps. "Please, just give me that."

Jesse sighs. She will never really know. "No Rachel, none of those things are true- none of those are the reasons I am leaving you. And trust me, I don't want to. But I am being forced to by a lot of different people, and they threaten to hurt you every time I say no. So I decided to break my own heart, and leave you. This doesn't have to be the way it works. I could maybe try to stand up to the-"

"Jesse- nothing could hurt me, as much as the things you said on that message. Whether it's Finn, or Shelby, or anyone in New Directions saying this stuff- I don't care. You can be my bullet-proof armour, you can be my protection. It's all I need. All I want is you. I know we haven't been all the way yet, but I feel like I can love no-one else- ever, in my whole life. You feel right to me. Don't you feel it, Jesse? "

Jesse gulps. This was it. The moment he had been waiting for. "Yes, Rachel. "

He lay her down in the backseat of his car, and kissed her. He held her head, held her waist- she held his heart. She gripped his leather jacket with her tiny hand, and put one hand over his heart.

When they were done, he drove her to a hotel down the road from the school. They booked a double bed- and until 11 o'clock at night, discussed what they were going to do tomorrow.

He looked at Rachel's list:

Tell Shelby to get stuffed. (He was going to tell her to buzz off, pack up his things and drive to Rachel's house.)

Open his parents saving account for him. (They did say when he needed to take care of himself, to use it. And there was plenty- now was that time.)

Un-pack his things at Rachel's.

Make Pancakes. (Rachel's favourite thing to cook.)

She came out of the bathroom, still in her dressing gown. He had turned up the heater, so her hair and clothes would dry.

"Jesse- I have one question to ask."

She sat at the end of the bed, and he came around and sat on his knees, grabbing her hands.

"I just want to know- if you think, I'm, you know...attractive?"

He smirked.

"Rachel- what do you think it is I see in you? Apart from the other things I love about you, of course."

"Well I'm not sure. That's the thing. I have nothing going for me. I'm usel-"

Jesse put a finger on her lips.

"Rachel- you are honestly the most beautiful, amazing girl in the whole wide world- and yes I find you attractive. But I love you more than that- I don't need you for _that_ kind of stuff. But..."

And suddenly he understood why she was asking this question.

She looked up at him, and gave a tiny nod.

"You sure?"

She nodded again.

He wasn't going to wait any longer.

He grabbed her waist, the small of her back, and slowly placed her on the bed. She undid the buttons of his shirt one by one, and pulled it off- ran her warm hand down his front. It sent tingles down his spine, and made his face light up.

He untied her dressing gown, and knowing it was the only thing she had on, took it off.

"Some day, when I'm awfully low,  
When the world is cold,  
I will feel a glow just thinking of you...  
And the way you look tonight.  
Oh but you're lovely, with your smile so warm  
And your cheeks so soft,  
There is nothing for me but to love you,  
Just the way you look tonight."

He sung this under his breath, the moon lighting her caramel skin, making a sparkle in her eye, making her tiny body seem more than heaven in this night.

He pulled down his pants and lay on top of her. Just letting his hips lightly dig into her waist, he whispered in her ear "Are you sure?"

And she smiled. He knew they were ready.

He pulled her onto his waist, and let their bodies take care of themselves.

And it was the start of a new journey, for both of them.


	2. Chapter 2

Jesse's diary:

Dear Diary,

Life is swell. Life is bliss.

You know how (well of course you don't, you don't have emotions or feelings- but hypothetically) when most couples have sex for the first time, they shy away from each other and it ruins the relationship? .opposite.

You see, since Rachel and I first had sex a week and a bit ago, we have been closer- because we now know that we are both in for the long haul. Plus, we have seen parts of each other that **both **of us haven't seen before. That's right, both of us- even though I told Rachel that I had done it before, the truth was I hadn't. Well not entirely. Because the only girl I had almost done it with, when I was 15, Stacey Himmler was her name. Well, just before we were about to get "down to it", she told me that this was just because she had had sex with every guy in Vocal Adrenaline except for me, because she was confused with my sexuality. I changed back and left. I haven't spoken to her directly since.

I told Rachel I had done it because I thought she wouldn't want me any other way. And honestly, I thought she would have done it with Finn too.

But then when she told me about Quinn and the baby, and him not being the father blah blah blah, I realized that she was a virgin too. And I couldn't take back what I had told her- she would hate me. So this is going to be my little secret (and yours for now).

Anyway, on the topic- we made love again on Saturday night. It was real romantic.

We drove up to the mountain ranges near by, hiked up to the lowest mountain, set up camp and...well- basically, did it under the stars.

***FLASHBACK* **

"Well- we have eaten basically all of the food. We read all the MLIA'S we printed. We sang all the songs that you know on the guitar. We even tried to say the alphabet backwards _en francais." _Rachel winked at this point. "So...what's next on the plan?"

Jesse sighed. "You know what, that's all I wrote down. I couldn't think of anything else to do so I just left the other 10 places blaa-"

Rachel gripped him by the back of his curly head of hair, held one of his shoulders with her other hand whilst pushing him onto his back, whilst kissing him.

"Woah! Rachel...I am not going to lie- I am enjoying this. But do you actually want this? Right now? Again? So soon?"

"Yeah Jesse, I do. I trust you- I know you won't hurt me like Finn did. I can trust you with my body. "

Silence filled the air. Serious, tense moments followed.

"Jesse, just love me. That's all I ask of you." She looked down on him with her chocolate eyes, her loose waves falling in her eyes.

He pushed it back, and started to unbutton her blouse. He threw it onto the picnic rug, next to the chai tea in the thermos and the empty takeaway containers.

They were naked in an instance.

It was chilly, they both wouldn't lie. But being so close to each other, the body heat from the other kept them warm.

Jesse ran his hands all over her body, and Rachel put her warm hands all down the plains of his chest.

Rachel was currently straddling him, and Jesse wanted to change this quick.

So, he flipped her.

In a flash, she was on her back- with his hand on her right breast, and the other holding her waist. He gently nibbled on her ear, on her lip, then on her left nipple. He tossed it around between his teeth, rolling it and fondling it. She moaned softly, almost in tune.

She was about to climax, he knew it. So, he kissed her belly button, and both of her hips, and he spread her legs. She arched her back in pleasure, and told him to do it.

She repeated over and over how much she loved him, until he put a finger inside of her, and rubbed her oh-so-sensitive area.

She then made a louder, longer moan. He added a second finger, a third finger, even his thumb. But he knew that was enough.

She was climaxing- he was climaxing. Her moaning was making him harder and harder. He had to do it now.

So, he put himself inside of her.

He started off real slow, slowly drawing in and out again and again. She was practically singing.

He was smiling.

Then he started faster and faster, harder and harder. She screamed in delight.

He was going as fast as he could, as deep and hard as he could. She brought her thighs around his weight, and leant up onto him. She was riding him, and biting on his ear as he went. When he thought he could go no harder or faster or deeper, she let him in. It was magic.

They were constantly changing positions and speed, she was so wet. He could feel it.

_This is what adult sex feels like. _

She was moaning- right now she was straddling him, and he was pushing up into her through hip thrusts. It felt so good. They took one last peak- going as fast as possible. She screamed, but he wasn't listening. He was in a daze- almost under the influence of it. He pushed himself in and out again and again, feeling it. Wanting it forever and ever.

Then, he knew that was it.

So he stopped. Still inside her. He stopped to catch his breath.

She sat on him, breathing in and out.

They looked at each other, and smiled.

...And did it all again. 3 times even.

He was holding his erection well, and why waste it?

After they were done, he carried her to the tent, and wrapped them both up in the blankets.

*BACK TO JESSE'S DIARY*

It was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced.

She is an incredible woman- I love her with all the music in my soul.

Night Diary,

Jesse.

...

So, did you enjoy that? Don't worry- many more to come. MANY MANY MORE.

After I have put this one up, a soppy one to follow. I promise for all those people who love the mushy stuff.

XOXO Mr Palmer.

Oh and I don't own Glee, or Rachel or Jesse- although if I did, you would be expecting a little like above. ;)

Buh Bye- and review !


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